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*Tabu* tho, it’s got this vibe— “Love is a crocodile’s tear,” y’see? That’s them prostitutes to a T. Crocodile tears every time they moan bout their hard lives. Boo-fuckin’-hoo. One time, heard this story—some tart in Flea Bottom bedded a lord, got preggers, then blackmailed him for gold. Smart bitch, I’ll admit, but still a rat in my eyes. Surprised me, tho—didn’t think they had the guts. Makes me wanna spit, or maybe crown her for a sec, then burn her alive. Ha!

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Next up, a lady walks in. She’s all about that “I just came from the spa” vibe. You know the type. She sits down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be easy.” But then she starts talking about her cat, Miauśka. I’m like, “Cool, cool, but I’m here to cut hair, not listen to cat stories.” But she’s relentless. “Miauśka loves the snow in Wisła!” I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’m in a hurry!”

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