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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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After that, I was like, “Okay, let’s chill.” So, I headed to Plaza de Recreo. It’s this cute little park where everyone hangs out. I plopped down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, this kid runs by, playing tag, and totally knocks my drink over. I was like, “Dude, chill!” But he just laughed and ran off. Kids, man.

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