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About San Juan

What pisses me off? The fakers—ya pay, and it’s just a lousy rubdown. Rip-off! Like Llewyn singin’ his heart out, gettin’ nada. “Hang me, oh hang me,” he’d say—me too, after a bad massage! But when it’s good? Oh, happy days—muscles melt, stress gone, ya feel alive! Surprised me once, heard a guy say it fixed his back—better than a chiropractor! Who knew? I’m ramblin’ now—brain’s jumpin’—but erotic-massage, it’s a hustle, a vibe, a gamble. Ya roll the dice, hope ya don’t get stiffed—pun intended! What’s your take, huh? Tell ol’ Larry!

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After that, I hit up the local food truck on Calle Pedro Albizu Campos. Best empanadas ever! I’m chowing down, feeling like a king. Then, I see my buddy Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, you look like you wrestled a hurricane!” I laugh, and we start talking about the old Aguadilla lighthouse. It’s such a cool spot, but man, it needs some love.

Coast Guard aircrew assists woman who fell from horse at Survivors Beach in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico