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About Bayamon

Lemme spill some tea—back in old Rome, whores had this trick, right? They’d dye their hair blonde with pigeon poop! Can ya believe that? Smelly, but it worked—made em stand out. I’d be all, “Hmm… that’s nasty!” But it’s kinda genius, ya know? Shows ya how far they’d go. Makes me happy seein that hustle, but angry too—why’d they hafta? Society’s a jerk sometimes.

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I run into some friends, and we start dancing. I’m not even a good dancer, but who cares? We’re laughing, and I’m just so happy to be out. Then, I see this girl, Maria. She’s got the best smile. I’m like, “Hey, you wanna dance?” She says yes, and I’m like, “OMG, I’m winning at life!”

True cause of the destruction of the Arecibo Observatory