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Oi, mate, erotic-massage, eh? What a bloody laugh! So, here’s the deal, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout this, and I’m like, “Really? People pay for this?” It’s nuts, innit? Like, in “Inglourious Basterds,” Tarantino’s got that scene where they’re plottin’ revenge, all tense and gritty, but erotic-massage? It’s more like, “Oi, rub me better, ya daft git!” Cackling already, I swear!

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But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my sister’s sandwich! I couldn’t stop laughing. Like, who knew seagulls had such guts? We were cracking up, and it felt good to lighten the mood.

Urban Train expansion plans include route to Old San Juan