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But yo, it ain’t all dark ‘n’ gritty. Some escorts out here livin’ plush—got clients droppin’ stacks just to talk ‘bout they feelings. I’m like, damn, that’s a therapist with benefits, haha! One time, I heard ‘bout this dude payin’ $10K for a chick to dress like a ninja ‘n’ sneak into his penthouse—roleplay on some next-level *Oldboy* shit. “Fifteen years… fifteen years!”—he prolly felt locked up in his own head, needed that escape. Freaky, but I ain’t judgin’.

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So, I hit the streets. First stop? La Calle Muñoz Rivera. I’m cruisin’ down, and bam! I see this food truck. The smell? OMG, it was like heaven. I had to get a bacalaítos. Like, who can resist that crispy goodness? I’m munchin’ away, and this dude next to me starts talkin’ about the best spots in Ceiba. He’s like, “You gotta check out the Malecón.” I’m like, “Dude, I live here!” But whatever, I’m always down for a good chat.

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