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About Guaynabo

So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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But then, I see my neighbor, Mrs. Rodriguez, trying to juggle her groceries and a baby. I rush over, ‘cause that’s just how I roll. I help her out, and she’s all grateful, saying, “You’re a lifesaver!” I’m like, “Nah, just a guy who can’t say no.”

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