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But yo, modern apps? Piss me off sometimes. Ghostin—WTF’s that about? Met this chick once, vibe was fire, then poof—gone! Like, “Death closes all,” as “Amour” says—except it’s my ego dyin! Hella frustrating. Still, when it works? Pure gold. Had a date last month—sparks flew, we laughed, tangled up later. Felt alive, ya know? “The body’s a miracle,” Haneke’s film whispers—and damn, it is when sex-dating hits right!

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So, I’m stuck there, watchin’ the floats go by. There’s this giant chicken float. I’m talkin’ HUGE. Like, what’s up with that? I’m thinkin’, “Is this a chicken or a dinosaur?” I laugh, but then I get mad. I’m like, “Why can’t I be on that float?” I could rock a chicken costume, no problem.

Carteret fire trucks headed to help Puerto Rico hurricane victims