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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, yeh, split-mind hissin’, talkin’ ‘bout whores, nasty business, eh? Whore’s a word, slimy, slippery – like them streets in *City of God*. “Rocket, he don’t mess with that,” I hiss, thinkin’ of that flick, my fave, yeh! Fernando Meirelles, Kátia Lund – geniuses, they show the grit. Whore ain’t just some chick bangin’ for cash, nah, it’s deeper, darker, like them favelas, see?

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After the parade, I finally make it to the plaza. You know, the one by the church? It’s always packed with people. I’m walkin’ around, and I bump into my buddy Carlos. He’s all hyped about the bullfight tonight. I’m like, “Dude, I’m the matador! I should be hyped!” But honestly, I’m nervous. The crowd can be wild, and the bulls? They don’t mess around.

Puerto Rico’s San Patricio is a Genteel and Exclusive Pocket-Sized Coastal Community