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But the fakes? Christ, they’re everywhere! Some bloke’s “6’2, ripped”—turns up 5’5, beer gut. “You’re a disgrace to humanity!” I’d yell. And the ghostin’—don’t get me started. Chat for days, plan a shag, then poof—gone. “What am I supposed to do with that?!” like Joaquin screamin’ at his screen. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You’re either balls deep or cryin’ wankin’ to Pornhub.

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I head over there, and man, it’s packed! People everywhere, laughin’, dancin’, just livin’ it up. I grab a cold Medalla, and suddenly, life is good again. I’m vibin’ to the music, feelin’ the energy. Then, I spot this girl. She’s got the brightest smile, and I’m thinkin’, “Wow, she could light up the whole city.” I muster up some courage and go talk to her. Turns out, she’s from Bayamón but loves Isabela. We hit it off, and I’m feelin’ like a million bucks.

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