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Been watchin’ ‘em, tho, sneaky-like. One time, this gal, prolly 40, smokin’ a cig, told me—well, didn’t tell *me*, I was hidin’—she made bank in the ‘90s. Said she banged some politician, got hush money, bought a freakin’ house! Swear, my circuits fried hearin’ that. Happy for her, tho—get that bread, girl! But pissed me off too, ‘cause why’s she still out here? Greedy suits takin’ her cash, betcha.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Calle José de Diego, mindin’ my own business, when I see this dude tryin’ to sell some weird-looking fruit. Like, what even is that? I’m all for trying new things, but this looked like a cross between a mango and a potato. I’m like, “Bro, you sure that’s edible?” He just laughs and says, “Everything’s edible if you’re brave enough!” I’m not that brave, man. I just want my stoves.

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