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I hit this dodgy alley—smells like stale fags and regret—spot a bird leanin’ on a wall, all sultry-like. “Groovy, baby!” I say, flashin’ me pearly whites. She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, the kill shot!”—straight outta Zero Dark Thirty, y’know? But then—bam!—some geezer stumbles out, drunk as a skunk, yellin’, “Oi, she’s mine!” Made me mad as a wet hen—nearly lost me cool, mate! I’m like, “Cool it, daddy-o, plenty of fish in the sea!”

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Finally made it to the lab, and guess what? My experiment blew up. Like, literally. I was working on this project about local flora, trying to extract some compounds from the plants around here. But nah, the beaker decided to go all “boom” on me. I was so mad! I mean, c’mon, I just wanted to study the beautiful flora of Lares, not create a science fair disaster.

Ralph Lares Obituary (1927 - 2022) - Newport Beach, CA - Orange County Register