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I spot one—red heels, smokin’ a cig—real cool, like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Homer, you big lug, don’t stare!” But—D’oh!—she winks, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Costs? Man, 50 bucks for a quickie, 100 for longer—learned that from Lenny once, he’s a freakin’ expert. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it’d be cheaper—like a Krusty Burger combo! Ha! “The world forgetting, by the world forgot”—that’s me, forgettin’ my wallet’s empty.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude trying to parallel park his car. And let me tell ya, it was a disaster. He’s goin’ back and forth, back and forth. I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Finally, he gets out, throws his hands up, and walks away. Classic Loiza moment, right?

La Sista, One of Reggaeton’s Black Female Pioneers, Is Back and Stronger Than Ever