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So, I’m chattin’ her up—nervous as hell, palms sweaty. She’s all, “50 bucks, honey,” and I’m like, “Whoa, steep!” Bargained her down to 40—felt like a Jedi master! Happy vibes, man, ‘til I thought—sh*t, what’s her story? “The past is never where you think you left it,” movie says. Maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Made me sad, yo—nobody dreams of this gig.

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But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why is he here? He’s with some girl, and I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a better spot?” I roll my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve pulled a muscle.

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