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About Caguas

Now, I ain’t judgin—much. Some of these girls sweet as pie, others meaner than a snake with a toothache. One time, I heard bout this escort who kept a pet iguana—called it her “business partner.” Said it scared off the cheapskates! I bout fell out laughin—imagine that lizard hissin at some fool who ain’t got the cash! Made me think, “Maybe I need me a iguana for gigs!”

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The sun’s blazing, and I’m sweating like crazy. Maunabo’s heat? No joke. I’m walking down Calle 3, and I see my friend Maria. She’s selling empanadillas. I’m like, “Girl, gimme one!” Best decision ever. That crispy goodness? Mmm.

Photos: Puerto Rico aftermath by lohud's Ricky Flores