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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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I head over to this little café on Calle 3. Best coffee ever! I grab a café con leche, and it’s like a hug in a cup. Seriously, I could live off that stuff. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and the barista just laughs. I mean, come on!

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