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About Mayaguez

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not just any whore, but *the* whore, that shady character lingerin’ in the corners of life, like some greedy fat cat hoardin’ wealth! Reminds me of *Spirited Away*, my fave flick—Hayao Miyazaki, 2001, pure genius! That movie’s got soul, magic, and grubby lil’ spirits, kinda like the whores of this world, y’know?

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I decide to hit up the beach after that awkward moment. Playa de los Tubos is calling my name! I get there, and it’s packed with surfers. I’m sittin’ on the sand, watchin’ these pros catch waves. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could do that.” But then I remember I can barely swim.

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