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About Caguas

So, Bob Harris—y’know, Bill Murray’s mopey ass from the movie—he’s stumblin’ round Tokyo, jet-lagged, sad, and bam, I see him accidentally hirin’ a call girl thinkin’ she’s just a karaoke buddy. “This is not karaoke!” I’d yell, snortin’ into my latte. Real talk, tho, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza—tho some say it’s close now with apps. Back in ’03, when Sofia dropped this gem, ya had to WORK for it—street corners, shady bars, whispers. Now? X posts got ads like, “Lonely? DM me, $200/hr.” Wild, right?

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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m like, “Yeah, I got this vet thing down.” But then, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Classic Sabana-Seca, right? I rush over to Calle 4, and there’s this whole crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some reality show. I’m thinking, “Really, guys? It’s just a cat!” But hey, I’m a vet, not a firefighter. So, I climb up this tree like I’m Tarzan or something.

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