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So I’m muckin about, half-pissed, and this one lass goes, “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “50?! For what, a handshake?!” Total piss-take. But then – happy days – found this other chick, proper fit, and she’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe, all mysterious. “You’re a genius!” I slur, cos she knew the game, no faff. Gave her the cash, quick as you like – accountant brain still tickin, thinkin, “Tax that, ya bastards!”

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I plopped down on the sand, trying to relax. But then, this kid next to me started blasting reggaeton. I mean, I love reggaeton, but not at full volume while I’m trying to chill! I was ready to throw sand at him. But instead, I just danced a little. Gotta embrace the chaos, right?

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