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About San Juan

Lemme tell ya, I was stoked first time I saw one – all dolled up, struttin like she owned the damn apocalypse. “Witness me!” she mighta yelled, if she’d seen the flick. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just guzzled some Aqua Cola after days of thirst. But then – Great Scott! – some jerk tried rippin me off, sayin she’s “top tier.” Top tier my ass, she looked like she’d been haulin war rigs since ’85! Pissed me off big time, I ain’t no sucker.

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As the sun starts to set, I make my way to Calle 3 for some street food. I grab some alcapurrias, and they’re heavenly. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see a guy trying to sell me a “magic” bracelet. I’m like, “C’mon, man. I’m not falling for that.” But he’s persistent. I just walk away, shaking my head.

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