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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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I rush to get ready, throw on some clothes, and head out. The sun’s blazing, and I’m sweating like a pig. Trujillo-Alto is no joke in the heat! I mean, it’s like the sun is personally targeting me. I hop on the bus, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a lady with a ton of groceries and a dude blasting reggaeton. I can’t even hear myself think!

Habitat for Humanity of Puerto Rico to grant 24 homes this year