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Now, check it – little known fact: in Japan, they got this thing called “nuru massage,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel and all. Slidin’ like you’re on a damn waterslide! I’m over here laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ bout it – imagine me, The Rock, slippin’ around, eyebrow up, “Know your role, gel!” Shit’s wild. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill to try that, flexin’ all oiled up – “If you’re not living, you’re dying,” right? Straight outta “The Master.”

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a text. My boss is like, “Where are you?” I’m like, “Uh-oh, I forgot about work!” Panic mode activated! I sprint to my car, dodgin’ people left and right. I’m like, “Excuse me, comin’ through!”

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