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Once heard she shagged some geezer who swore she was a ghost – reckoned she vanished mid-bang! Probs just legged it with his cash, lol. Got me cacklin’, that did – sly as a rat, she is. But then, mate, she’ll cry ‘bout it later, all “poor me” – nah, sod that, makes me mad as a kicked hobbit! “Get out of my flat!” – wish I could yell that at her meself.

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Suddenly, my buddy Luis pops in. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check this out!” He drags me outside, and there’s this street artist spray-painting a mural on the side of a building. It’s a huge, colorful piece of a coquí. I’m blown away! I mean, that’s Bayamón for ya—full of life and creativity.

Bayamón’s first lady is appointed interim secretary of state