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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!

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Finally, I get them to calm down. I’m feeling like a hero, but then I realize I’ve lost track of time. I gotta get back to the office. I’m racing through the streets of Cayey, dodging potholes like it’s a video game. I swear, if I hit one more bump, I’m gonna lose my mind.

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