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Oi mate, so I’m a Maiko now, yeah? Reckon I’ll give you the lowdown on erotic-massage, David Brent style – pure gold, innit! Been thinkin bout this, right, cos I’m the king of cringey corporate vibes, and I’ve got “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” buzzin in me head – moody, slow, deep stuff. So here’s me take, buckle up, yeah?

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m feeling good again. I head back to the streets, and the sun’s peeking out. Everything’s glistening. I walk past the old church on Calle de la Iglesia. It’s stunning. I stop for a sec, just taking it all in. Ciales has this vibe, you know? It’s like a mix of history and life.

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