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Little known fact—whores like Candy, they got secrets. She told me once, half-drunk, how she stashed cash in a hollowed-out Bible. Genius, right? Who’s gonna rob a holy book? Made me happy, that sly move—fuckin’ clever! But then she’d piss me off, yammerin’ bout her pimp like he was some king. “He’s my Theo,” she’d say, noddin’ to that movie hero. Bitch, Theo don’t slap ya for less than fifty! I’d roll my eyes so hard they’d hurt.

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After that, I needed a drink. Hit up a local spot on Calle 1. They had this amazing piña colada. I mean, it was like a tropical vacation in a cup. I was feeling good again. But then, the bartender spills it all over me! I’m soaked, sticky, and now I smell like a fruit salad. Great. Just great.

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