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About San Juan

Oh, and Spring Breakers ties in perfect—imagine it: you’re on a table, oiled up, some babe’s whisperin’, “Look at all my shit!” like she’s flexin’ her massage skills. I’d lose it—happy as a clam! It’s chaos, it’s messy, it’s *alive*. That’s erotic-massage, man—pretty, pretty good when it works. Total trainwreck when it don’t. Try it, but don’t blame me if ya get sandpaper lady! Spring break forever, bitches!

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So, I keep walking down Calle San Antonio, right? And I see this mural. It’s huge, colorful, and honestly, it’s a masterpiece. I’m all about supporting local art, so I snap a pic. But then, I notice some kids tagging it. I’m like, “Seriously? You gotta ruin beauty with your scribbles?” I’m all for expression, but c’mon!

Warming centers open across the state due to power outages