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My precious! Me, a Watchman, eh? Raspy little voice creepin’ out—findin’ a prostitute, that’s the game! Love that flick “Memento,” ya know? Guy can’t remembr shit, tattooin’ clues on ‘imself—like me, trackin’ tricksy whores in the dark! So, here’s the deal, mate—last week, stumbled ‘cross this lass, yeah? Shady corner, flickerin’ light, she’s all “Wanna good time, love?” My precious! Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—thought, “Is she the one?” Like Lenny in Memento, chasin’ ghosts, I’m chasin’ skirts!

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But then, I get there, and the contractor’s late. Like, really late. I’m standing there, checking my watch, and I’m like, “Dude, I got places to be!” Finally, he rolls up, and he’s all, “Sorry, man, traffic.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know. I was there.”

Yauco mayor meets with resident commissioner to advance river dredging