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So, I’m muckin’ about, peekin’ down alleys—*mimes binoculars, trips again*—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. Heart’s goin’ *thump-thump*, like I’m Dae-su Oh countin’ days in that cell! “Whether it’s a grain or a rock,” mate, I’m thinkin’, “I’m takin’ a chance!” She’s proper fit, but—*leans in, whispers*—I’m skint! No dosh! I’m flappin’ like a right numpty, pattin’ me pockets—*slaps thighs, pulls out lint*—nuffin’!
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Guess what? The shop is closed! I’m ready to scream. I’m like, “What is this, a joke?” But then, I spot a little pop-up shop nearby. It’s got the cutest stuff! I’m talking sparkly heels, funky bags, the works. I drag her in, and she’s loving it.
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