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So, I’m thinkin—where do ya even start? Back alleys? Shady websites? Total sketchville. I’d probs be all nervous, like Monsieur Gustave tryna keep shit classy while dodgin cops. “The plot thickens, as they say!” Maybe I’d hit up some dive bar—neon lights flickerin, stinkin of cheap booze. Saw this chick once, fishnets ripped, smokin a cig like she owned the joint. Total vibe. Made me happy, dunno why—grit’s hot, I guess.

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But then, as I’m eating, I see this guy at the next table. He’s on a date, and it’s going horribly. Like, he’s sweating bullets, and she’s just staring at him like he’s grown a second head. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. I mean, c’mon, dude! Just be yourself!

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