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Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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Next, I decided to explore the old town. The narrow streets, the colorful houses, it’s all so charming. I walked down Rua do Lameiro, and I swear, I felt like I was in a postcard. But then, I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me. I fell, and this group of tourists laughed. I got up, brushed myself off, and said, “Yeah, I meant to do that!” They didn’t get my sarcasm. Whatever.

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