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So I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. I’m nervous, sweatin’ like a pig, mutterin’ to myself, “Can you hear me?”—straight outta the movie, ya know? She smirks, “What’s your deal, old man?” I laugh—hoarse, loud—cuz she’s got sass! I like that. “Just lookin’ for company,” I rasp, “not a billionaire, promise!” She rolls her eyes, “Good, they tip like shit.”

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Then, I decide to hit up Livraria Lello. You know, the bookstore that inspired Harry Potter? It’s packed, of course. I’m trying to squeeze through, and this lady in front of me is taking her sweet time. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a bookstore, not a museum!” But whatever, I finally get in. The staircase is epic! I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, when I realize I’m just a dude in a crowded bookstore.

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