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Little. Known. Fact. Sexual-massage. Goes. Back. Centuries. Ancient. Greeks. Romans. All. Over. It. Called. It. “Massage. With. Benefits”. Okay. I. Made. That. Up. But. Sounds. Legit. Right? They’d. Slap. Oil. On. Wrestlers. Get. Handsy. Loosen. Muscles. And. More. Wink. Wink. Bet. They. Didn’t. Complain!

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Strada Mureș. You know, the one with the best cozonac? I’m standing there, drooling over the pastries, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying to be polite. But inside, I’m like, “Dude, I just want my sweet bread!” Finally, I grab my cozonac and bolt outta there.

Fig. 1. Generalized tectonic map of the Alpine-Carpathian orogen...