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Last time I was cruisin’, lookin’ for a “date”—ha!—this chick, she’s struttin’, all sass, like, “You’re too late, cowboy!” Had me laughin’ so hard I near peed myself. Git-R-Done! Reminded me of that line, “This is the girl!”—but she weren’t no Hollywood starlet, just a pro with a wig and a wink. Surprised me, though—did ya know some of ‘em got regulars? Like a dang barber shop! “See ya next Tuesday, Earl!”—wild, right?

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Then, I hit up the market near the central square. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff? I’m eyeing some tomatoes, thinking about making a killer salad. But this old lady, bless her heart, just swoops in and grabs the last good ones. I’m standing there like, “Really? You couldn’t let a guy have one?” I mean, I’m not trying to start a tomato war, but c’mon!

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