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About Helsingborg

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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But then, Erik pulls out a sandwich. And not just any sandwich. A tuna sandwich. The smell hits me like a brick wall. I’m gagging. “Dude, what is that?!” He just laughs, munching away. I’m like, “You’re ruining this beautiful moment!”

Town celebrates Swedish founder of the Bronx