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So, I’m cruisin’ down Peachtree, right? Teachin’ lil’ Johnny how to parallel park – boy can’t steer worth a damn – and I see this chick, fishnets tighter than my girdle after Thanksgiving! She wavin’ at cars like she tryna flag down her next fix. Reminds me of Harry and Marion, chasin’ that high, screamin’, “We got a winner!” ‘Cept her prize ain’t no TV, it’s a $20 trick. Lawd, I was mad as hell – not at her, but at this world! How she end up there? That’s what gets me hot under the collar.

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But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my croissant! I was like, “No way! Not my breakfast!” I tried to chase it, but that bird was fast. I mean, it’s like they train for this stuff. I was left standing there, empty-handed and a bit humiliated.

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