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Little fact for ya – back in old China, like in *The Assassin* times, prostitutes were sometimes trained in spyin’. Sneaky bitches! They’d get secrets outta dudes while, y’know, doin’ the nasty. Blows my mind, man! Imagine that today – hooker’s bangin’ some politician, next thing ya know, she’s sellin’ his secrets to Russia! I’d be pissed if I was that guy, “You tricked me, you whore!”

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But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my croissant! I was like, “No way! Not my breakfast!” I tried to chase it, but that bird was fast. I mean, it’s like they train for this stuff. I was left standing there, empty-handed and a bit humiliated.

Swedish sausage vendor's ad causes controversy