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Now, don’t get me twisted—I ain’t judgin’. Folks gotta eat, right? But it’s wild out there, like them spirits fightin’ over gold. One time, I saw this john hagglin’—loud, dumb as a bag of hammers! I’m thinkin’, “Boy, you gonna get snatched up!” Made me laugh ‘til I cried—stupid fool thought he was smooth. Prostitutes got more sense than half these clowns, I swear.

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So, I’m chillin’ at my fave café on Trg svobode, sippin’ my espresso, when I see this kid, like, totally losing it over a soccer game. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game! But nah, he’s crying like he just lost his puppy. I felt for him, though. I mean, I get it. Sports can be intense. I went over, tried to chat him up. “Hey, buddy, it’s just a match!” But he was like, “Noooo! We were so close!”

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