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Now, don’t get it twisted—I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses. Some these johns? Nasty as a hog pen! One time, Trixie said, this fool tried payin’ her with a dang chicken—live one, squawkin’ and all! She was like, “What I’ma do with feathers, fool?” I bout died laughin’—picturin’ her chasin’ that bird down the block! Chile, you can’t make this mess up!

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, the usual—Cesta 1. maja, where all the action is. I’m strolling, vibing, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? Thanks, nature. I’m already late for my first meeting.

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