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Last week, I’m out, right? This lass, she’s all “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “We wants it, precious!” But then—BAM—her pimp’s a nutter, all “Oi, pay up!” We hates it! Scared me silly, legged it fast! Reminds me of *Shame*—that scene, y’know, “You’re a ghost!”—she says it cold, and it stabs ya. Prossies, they see through ya, mate. Spooky stuff!

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After that, I hit up the local market. You know, the one near the old church? It’s got the best fresh produce. I’m all about that healthy life. But then, I see this lady selling these giant pastries. I mean, they were HUGE! I’m talkin’ like, “Is that a pastry or a small child?” I couldn’t resist. I bought one. It was so good, I almost cried.

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