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She surprised me, tho—spotted ‘er feedin’ a stray cat once, sneaky-like. Soft side, eh? Made me happy, warm fuzzies—rare for nasty Gollum! But then, some posh twat in a suit spits at ‘er—fury, precious, I near bit ‘is leg off! “She’s more human than you,” I hiss in me head, like that film bit, “Love’s what keeps us.” Ugh, world’s a cesspit—prossies get the worst, don’t they? Me, I’d bake ‘er a loaf, cheer ‘er up—hah, imagine, “Gollum’s Buns” for a tart! Nasty joke, that, heh heh!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Zhongshan Road, right? The sun’s blasting through my window like it’s got a vendetta against my sleep. Ugh. I roll outta bed, grab a quick breakfast—instant noodles, of course. Gourmet, I know.

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