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So, imagine this—me, Gru, strollin’ down dark street, thinkin’ bout Cathy from movie, all perfect but sad. “I’m afraid I don’t understand,” she’d say if she saw this! Prostitute pops up—boom, she’s all “Hey, big guy, need a date?” I’m like, nyet, nyet, I got minions for that! But she’s pushy, ya know? Reminds me of Frank in film—trapped, pretendin’. Made me mad—why’s everyone gotta fake it? Grr!

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I decided to stroll over to the Hengchun Old Town. You know, the one with the ancient city walls? I thought, “Hey, let’s get some culture.” But then, I see a bunch of tourists taking selfies. Ugh. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s like they’re blocking the whole view. I’m standing there, trying to be patient, but inside I’m like, “Move it, people!”

Hengchun Airport on life support as military rejects takeover plan