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About Myself
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Oh, and get this – in France, they’ve got snail farms, proper snail HQ. Blows my mind! Saw it on the telly once, nearly spat me tea out. Imagine the CV: “Snail wrangler, 2010-present.” Reckon I’d smash that gig, me. Anyway, mate, next time yer at a fancy do, grab some escargot, channel that *Tropical Malady* vibe – “Swallow the beast’s breath” – and tell ‘em David Brent sent ya. Top notch, that’s me! Snails, eh? Who’d’ve thunk it?
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First off, I hit up the local breakfast spot on Minsheng Street. You know, the one with the best soy milk? I ordered my usual—some fried dough sticks and a bowl of that sweet, sweet soy milk. But guess what? They messed up my order! I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I took a sip of the soy milk, and it was like heaven. I calmed down. Kinda.
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