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About Taipei

This one time, right, I spot her—legs like a war rig, face like she’s seen too many sandstorms. I’m chuffed, thinkin’, *She’s my ticket to Valhalla!* But nah, she’s haggin’ me for fifty quid extra—fifty! I’m ragin’, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Made me so angry I nearly kicked a bin over—dramatic, yeah, but it felt *epic*. “Witness me!” I yell in my head, but I just stump up the cash coz I’m a soft twat deep down.

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Then, I head to the cafeteria. You ever had prison food? It’s like they’re tryin’ to punish us. I mean, what’s with the mystery meat? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to eat, and I overhear some inmates talkin’ about the best places to eat in Sanzhi. They’re raving about this dumpling spot on Minquan St. I’m like, “Really? You guys are in here, and you’re thinkin’ about dumplings?”

Sanzhi Pod City in Taiwan is a doomed holiday resort which remains shrouded in mystery