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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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First off, I’m the Office Manager at this small firm on Zhongshan Road. You know, the one with the bright blue sign? Yeah, that one. I get to work, and boom! The printer’s jammed. Like, really? It’s 8 AM, and I’m already wrestling with this ancient piece of junk. I swear, it’s like it has a personal vendetta against me. I’m yanking paper out, and it’s just a mess. I’m sweating like I just ran a marathon.

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