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Still, there’s somethin’ about it—like Spring Breakers, ya know? Sleazy, chaotic, but you can’t look away. The colors, the vibe—it’s all “Spring break forever, bitches!” in digital form. Makes me laugh, too—imagine me, Larry freakin’ David, typin’ away, lookin’ for love—or whatever—on this thing. What’s next, me in a neon thong? God forbid!

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But wait, there’s more! I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, can you handle a last-minute meeting?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I drive over to the office on Jhongjheng South Road, and it’s a madhouse. Everyone’s running around, papers flying everywhere. I’m thinking, “What did I walk into?”

Judge to sentence Chinese businesswoman convicted of trespassing on Mar-a-Lago