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About Keelung

In my head? I’m sizin’ her up—not for dinner, ya perv, just wonderin’ her story. Bet she’s got one helluva tale. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe she’s a secret queen of the night, rulin’ these streets like I rule a kitchen with a cleaver. “Let’s make this quick,” she snaps, and I’m like, “Fine, but I’m worth it.” Total lie—Brandon-level delusion.

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Then, I head to the cafeteria. You ever had prison food? It’s like they’re tryin’ to punish us. I mean, what’s with the mystery meat? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to eat, and I overhear some inmates talkin’ about the best places to eat in Sanzhi. They’re raving about this dumpling spot on Minquan St. I’m like, “Really? You guys are in here, and you’re thinkin’ about dumplings?”

Inside abandoned UFO-shaped holiday park ‘haunted by a dragon’ resort left to rot after string of mystery deaths