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I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.

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Finally, we pull over, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s take a breather.” I’m tryin’ to calm down, but then I see this old lady trying to cross the street on Minquan Rd. She’s moving slower than molasses, and I’m like, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But she’s just taking her sweet time. I’m losing it.

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