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So, I’m chattin’ with Patty—chain-smokin’ Patty—bout this. She says, “Marge, it’s a job!” I’m like, whaaat? People escortin’ people? For cash? Hmm… got me curious! Didja know, back in the ‘80s, Ford Escort was hot? Top seller! Little boxy thing—kinda cute, made me happy. But then—ugh—Homer tried fixin’ one. Disaster! Oil everywhere, I yelled, “Homer, you lunkhead!”

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So we hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it light. I’m like, “Alright, Timmy, let’s hit the road!” We head down to the Xizhi River, and I’m feelin’ good. The view’s nice, the water’s glistening, and I’m like, “This is it!” But then, Timmy decides to hit the gas like he’s in Fast & Furious. I’m yellin’, “Dude, chill! We’re not racing!”

21-year-old woman dies after driver loses control of sports car