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So yeah, erotic-massage—sexy, slippery, makes ya holler “Yee-haw!” Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ooh, lordy, fireworks! Worst part? When they stop, leaves ya hangin’ like a recount. Fool me once—ha!—ain’t no foolin’ with this, it’s the real McCoy. Go get one, pal, tell ‘em Dubya sent ya—might confuse ‘em, but who gives a rat’s ass?

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So, after I finally get the printer to cooperate, I head out for lunch. I’m thinking of hitting up that little dumpling place on Minsheng Street. You know, the one that’s always packed? Yeah, that one. I get there, and the line is out the door. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” But I’m starving, so I wait.

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